friendship [MASS NOUN]
- 1The emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends:
I found out I lost a good friend today. He passed away on Sunday. I had actually been trying to get in touch with him— in fact I called him on the day he had his first seizure. He was a good friend, a wonderful friend in fact. We had many laughs, usually over food, while in college. We would laugh so hard, we were food drunk. There were so many good times that we shared. And he was a good and loyal friend even in bad times.
He was not without his troubles. They started back in college. I remember the day he saw a white rabbit while studying. He obsessed about that rabbit. Fast forward a few years, he had some mental issues. He would come to my lab and talk to me, saying people were spying on him and say odd things like he was a “masturbation expert.” He would ask me to look for bugs in his wallet and other things. His mental illness devolved into substance abuse, then to homelessness, and then to other things.
It was a hard road to follow, and hard to be a friend during those times. I learned a lot even then. He explained the complex world of recyclables collection and recycling to me, the metabolism of alcohol that would have instilled pride in any organic chemistry professor, and so much more. His was one of the most brilliant minds I met, not because of sheer intelligence, for I saw that galore at St. John’s, but because of sheer force of will and determination.
He was just plaqued with mental health issues that castigated him from his friends. I use that word lightly though. For mental health issues, addiction issues, all of these things really truly determine who your friends are. People look at these issues and fail to see beyond them and in the case of my friend, that at the end of the day, his very essense was the same. He was still a good man. He was just a good man with problems beyond his control.
He struggled to get things under control. He really did. And he succeeded. I’m proud of him for that.
We learn in elementary school about connotations and denotations. The denotations of the word friendship based on the definition I have above (Oxford Dictionary), does not have the complexities and flavors of what we instill in words. Friendship means a presence even when it is not convenient or easy or maybe even desirous. It is never one way, but two ways and lasts no matter what the passage of time.
I always knew that he had my back. He always knew if he needed me, I would be there.
Goodbye my friend. You had a hard life and I wish I could have spent more time walking that path with you. Thank you for your friendship. I love you bro.
