Yesterday was the memorial services for a close friend of mine. He was in fact one of my closest friends from college. After the services, I was talking with his brother. He told me they were unsure of what kind of services to hold and what to say because my friend, for the past few years, had been plaqued by mental health and addiction issues. He would ask his family— and of me on more than one occasion— why his friends would never call or come visit.
The truth is we live in a society that discriminates heavily against those who suffer from mental illness and alcohol/drug addictions. His issues were biochemical in nature. There was a chemical imbalance in his brain. However, it is far easier to ostracize someone than it is to deal with the discomfort of discussing issues that we, as a society, would rather not face.
It seems so common place that people need therapy of some sort, are depressed, stressed, etc., but there is a difference from those that we stygmatize as having more profound issues while we rationalize that our problems (and the solutions we pursue) are more legitimate and socially acceptable. We draw away from people with more severe problems more surely than someone who might have a flu. The flu is temporary. Someone who suffers from schizophrenia or a host of other issues, all of which are a result of chemical imbalances in the brain, well, we stay move away and stay away. That very act though often times has a negative impact.
It is a sign of yet another kind of bigotry, Those with mental illness or an addiction, they have a story and most times, the story is something beyond their control. They should not be treated as pariahs but embraced.
My friend’s plight cost me a lot of friends. It was a concious choice. They knew what he was going through and through their own small mindedness turned there back on him. He was a true friend and even troubled as he was, I knew if I ever needed him as a friend he would have been there. It was, in the end, an easy choice to make.
