In two days I’ve had what I considered some very strange pick up lines thrown my way. No I wasn’t the one being picked up, but someone I was having a conversation was advising me to use these pick-up lines.
The first occurred on an flight back from Kauai. I was sitting next to a young lady (turns out she really was more like my age) and we were chatting about what we do and why we were each on Kauai. To understand the story, I think you have to know that she was a pharmacy manager for a chain here in Hawaii. Anyway we were comparing the relative benefits of our jobs and she said, “Since you work for the state, that means when you get married your wife will have medical benefits when you retire.”
“Yeah.”
“You should use that. You don’t understand how big of a deal medical care when you retire is.”
“What, you’re telling me I should go up to someone,” and I turn around to her, “Hi, my name is Darcy. I work for the state, and you know what that means right, medical coverage for my spouse when I retire.”
She laughed but said, “Yeah, exactly.”
“No, I don’t think that will work. If it’s going to be used as a line that is total wing woman thing. I get the conversation going and then wing woman comes in and says something like ‘Darcy, he’s a great guy. And you know what, he works for the state so he has good medical benefits— his wife would be covered too.”
She laughed again.
I sort of tried it— on Her. It didn’t work. I think it was the boyfriend. I think the good family coverage (she had two kids) was appealing but there was a boyfriend.
The next day I was seeing my brand spanking new tax accountant. I was sad, I was driven to see a tax accountant so I could be told how much taxes I would have to pay. There is no justice in the world. So we’re chatting as he’s crunching the numbers and then he says, “You know, you really should get married. It will save you lots on your taxes. You could use that as a pick-up line....”
“Wait, you’re saying I should go into, say a bar, and say something like, ‘my name is Darcy, I work for the state and to save on taxes we should get married.”
“Yeah sounds reasonable to me.”
I don’t think so.
Of course, the real solution is to combine both lines. “Hi, my name is Darcy, and I couldn’t help noticing you. I just wanted you to know that if we get married, we’d save on taxes and you know, as a state employee I have good medical benefits and my spouse will be covered when I retire too.”
I haven’t used it yet.
