Darcy Oishi

It’s been months now that my left retina is swollen and almost a month where my vocal chords are swollen. It has not been the best of times. Sometimes, I think I am adapting. I am getting used to wearing my glasses. I am getting used to the strange dichotomy of my vision. It is like wherever I look, there is clarity on one side and then on the other, there is this haziness that is difficult to see through. It’s like I am looking through the lens of a camera and there’s an abberation… a place where the focus is soft and your eye is drawn to it, except for me, it shifts to wherever my eye looks and it only gets better if I somehow managed to ignore the spot, adjust, adapt… and then I wonder, is this good for me, is this compensation “fine” or perhaps I am damaging my eye more. I am decidedly unused to these periods of doubt and I find myself dreaming more intensely than I have in years. Then I have my moments when I wonder, can I derive something useful from this? Maybe there is metaphor here? Maybe the blurring can mean something, like the fuzziness of the future and past… that’s what my left eye sees while the right sees the details that can only exist in the moment.